Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,126 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
and that it is full of and replenished with very good commodities; but yet this is more ancient than that.  Yea but, said I, my friend, what is the name of that city whither thou carriest thy coleworts to sell?  It is called Aspharage, said he, and all the indwellers are Christians, very honest men, and will make you good cheer.  To be brief, I resolved to go thither.  Now, in my way, I met with a fellow that was lying in wait to catch pigeons, of whom I asked, My friend, from whence come these pigeons?  Sir, said he, they come from the other world.  Then I thought that, when Pantagruel yawned, the pigeons went into his mouth in whole flocks, thinking that it had been a pigeon-house.

Then I went into the city, which I found fair, very strong, and seated in a good air; but at my entry the guard demanded of me my pass or ticket.  Whereat I was much astonished, and asked them, My masters, is there any danger of the plague here?  O Lord! said they, they die hard by here so fast that the cart runs about the streets.  Good God! said I, and where?  Whereunto they answered that it was in Larynx and Pharynx, which are two great cities such as Rouen and Nantes, rich and of great trading.  And the cause of the plague was by a stinking and infectious exhalation which lately vapoured out of the abysms, whereof there have died above two and twenty hundred and threescore thousand and sixteen persons within this sevennight.  Then I considered, calculated, and found that it was a rank and unsavoury breathing which came out of Pantagruel’s stomach when he did eat so much garlic, as we have aforesaid.

Parting from thence, I passed amongst the rocks, which were his teeth, and never left walking till I got up on one of them; and there I found the pleasantest places in the world, great large tennis-courts, fair galleries, sweet meadows, store of vines, and an infinite number of banqueting summer outhouses in the fields, after the Italian fashion, full of pleasure and delight, where I stayed full four months, and never made better cheer in my life as then.  After that I went down by the hinder teeth to come to the chaps.  But in the way I was robbed by thieves in a great forest that is in the territory towards the ears.  Then, after a little further travelling, I fell upon a pretty petty village—­truly I have forgot the name of it—­where I was yet merrier than ever, and got some certain money to live by.  Can you tell how?  By sleeping.  For there they hire men by the day to sleep, and they get by it sixpence a day, but they that can snort hard get at least ninepence.  How I had been robbed in the valley I informed the senators, who told me that, in very truth, the people of that side were bad livers and naturally thievish, whereby I perceived well that, as we have with us the countries Cisalpine and Transalpine, that is, behither and beyond the mountains, so have they there the countries Cidentine and Tradentine, that is, behither and beyond the teeth.  But it

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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