Now, whilst they were thus busy about me, the fire
triumphed, never ask how? For it took hold on
above two thousand houses, which one of them espying
cried out, saying, By Mahoom’s belly, all the
city is on fire, and we do nevertheless stand gazing
here, without offering to make any relief. Upon
this everyone ran to save his own; for my part, I took
my way towards the gate. When I was got upon
the knap of a little hillock not far off, I turned
me about as did Lot’s wife, and, looking back,
saw all the city burning in a fair fire, whereat I
was so glad that I had almost beshit myself for joy.
But God punished me well for it. How? said Pantagruel.
Thus, said Panurge; for when with pleasure I beheld
this jolly fire, jesting with myself, and saying—Ha!
poor flies, ha! poor mice, you will have a bad winter
of it this year; the fire is in your reeks, it is in
your bed-straw—out come more than six,
yea, more than thirteen hundred and eleven dogs, great
and small, altogether out of the town, flying away
from the fire. At the first approach they ran
all upon me, being carried on by the scent of my lecherous
half-roasted flesh, and had even then devoured me
in a trice, if my good angel had not well inspired
me with the instruction of a remedy very sovereign
against the toothache. And wherefore, said Pantagruel,
wert thou afraid of the toothache or pain of the teeth?
Wert thou not cured of thy rheums? By Palm
Sunday, said Panurge, is there any greater pain of
the teeth than when the dogs have you by the legs?
But on a sudden, as my good angel directed me, I
thought upon my lardons, and threw them into the midst
of the field amongst them. Then did the dogs
run, and fight with one another at fair teeth which
should have the lardons. By this means they
left me, and I left them also bustling with and hairing
one another. Thus did I escape frolic and lively,
gramercy roastmeat and cookery.
Chapter 2.XV.
How Panurge showed a very new way to build the walls
of Paris.
Pantagruel one day, to refresh himself of his study,
went a-walking towards St. Marcel’s suburbs,
to see the extravagancy of the Gobeline building, and
to taste of their spiced bread. Panurge was with
him, having always a flagon under his gown and a good
slice of a gammon of bacon; for without this he never
went, saying that it was as a yeoman of the guard to
him, to preserve his body from harm. Other sword
carried he none; and, when Pantagruel would have given
him one, he answered that he needed none, for that
it would but heat his milt. Yea but, said Epistemon,
if thou shouldst be set upon, how wouldst thou defend
thyself? With great buskinades or brodkin blows,
answered he, provided thrusts were forbidden.
At their return, Panurge considered the walls of
the city of Paris, and in derision said to Pantagruel,
See what fair walls here are! O how strong they
are, and well fitted to keep geese in a mew or coop
