And I see ordinarily in all good bagpipes, that, when
they go to the counterfeiting of the chirping of small
birds, by swinging a broom three times about a chimney,
and putting his name upon record, they do nothing
but bend a crossbow backwards, and wind a horn, if
perhaps it be too hot, and that, by making it fast
to a rope he was to draw, immediately after the sight
of the letters, the cows were restored to him.
Such another sentence after the homeliest manner
was pronounced in the seventeenth year, because of
the bad government of Louzefougarouse, whereunto it
may please the court to have regard. I desire
to be rightly understood; for truly, I say not but
that in all equity, and with an upright conscience,
those may very well be dispossessed who drink holy
water as one would do a weaver’s shuttle, whereof
suppositories are made to those that will not resign,
but on the terms of ell and tell and giving of one
thing for another. Tunc, my lords, quid juris
pro minoribus? For the common custom of the Salic
law is such, that the first incendiary or firebrand
of sedition that flays the cow and wipes his nose
in a full concert of music without blowing in the cobbler’s
stitches, should in the time of the nightmare sublimate
the penury of his member by moss gathered when people
are like to founder themselves at the mess at midnight,
to give the estrapade to these white wines of Anjou
that do the fear of the leg in lifting it by horsemen
called the gambetta, and that neck to neck after the
fashion of Brittany, concluding as before with costs,
damages, and interests.
After that the Lord of Suckfist had ended, Pantagruel
said to the Lord of Kissbreech, My friend, have you
a mind to make any reply to what is said? No,
my lord, answered Kissbreech; for I have spoke all
I intended, and nothing but the truth. Therefore,
put an end for God’s sake to our difference,
for we are here at great charge.
Chapter 2.XIII.
How Pantagruel gave judgment upon the difference of
the two lords.
Then Pantagruel, rising up, assembled all the presidents,
counsellors, and doctors that were there, and said
unto them, Come now, my masters, you have heard vivae
vocis oraculo, the controversy that is in question;
what do you think of it? They answered him,
We have indeed heard it, but have not understood the
devil so much as one circumstance of the case; and
therefore we beseech you, una voce, and in courtesy
request you that you would give sentence as you think
good, and, ex nunc prout ex tunc, we are satisfied
with it, and do ratify it with our full consents.
Well, my masters, said Pantagruel, seeing you are
so pleased, I will do it; but I do not truly find
the case so difficult as you make it. Your paragraph
Caton, the law Frater, the law Gallus, the law Quinque
pedum, the law Vinum, the law Si Dominus, the law
Mater, the law Mulier bona, to the law Si quis, the
law Pomponius, the law Fundi, the law Emptor, the
