wedding the matrons belonging to the bridegroom’s party tell the bride that too many cows have been given for her; that she is rather plain than otherwise, and will never be able to do a married woman’s work, and that altogether it is very kind of the bridegroom to condescend to marry her.  Then the bride’s friends have their innings.  They condole with her parents on the very inadequate number of cows paid for her, the loveliest girl in the village; declare that the husband is quite unworthy of her, and ought to be ashamed for driving such a hard bargain with her parents.

Leslie’s assertion (194) that it is “a mistake to imagine that a girl is sold by her father in the same manner and with the same authority with which he would dispose of a cow,” is contradicted by the concurrent testimony of the leading authorities.  Some of these have already been cited.  The reliable Fritsch says (112) of the Ama-Xosa branch: 

“It is characteristic that as a rule the inclination of the girl to be married is never consulted, but that her nearest male relatives select a husband for her to whom she is unceremoniously sent.  They choose, of course, a man who can pay.”

If she is a useful girl he is not likely to refuse the offer, yet he bargains to get her as cheaply as possible (though he knows that a Kaffir girl’s chief pride is the knowledge that many heads of cattle were paid for her).  Regarding the Ama-Zulu, Fritsch says (141-42) that the women are slaves and a wife is regarded as so much invested capital.  “If she falls ill, or remains childless, so that the man does not get his money’s worth, he often returns her to her father and asks his cattle back.”  Older and less attractive women are sometimes married off on credit, or to be paid for in instalments.  “In all this,” Fritsch sums up, “there is certainly little of poetry and romance, but it cannot be denied that under the influence of European residents an improvement has been effected in some quarters.”  He himself saw at Natal a young couple who “showed a certain interest in each other,” such as one expects of married persons; but in parts untouched by European influence, he adds, true conjugal devotion is an unusual thing.

AMOROUS PREFERENCES

It is probably owing to such European influences that Theal (209) found that although a woman is not legally supposed to be consulted in the choice of a husband, in point of fact “matches arising from mutual love are not uncommon.  In such cases, if any difficulties are arranged by the guardians on either side, the young people do not scruple to run away together.”  The word “love” in this passage is of course used in that vague sense which indicates nothing but a preference of one man or woman to others.  That a Kaffir girl should prefer a young man to an old suitor to the point of running away with him is to be expected, even if there is nothing more than a