Table of Contents

The Fable of How Uncle Brewster was Too Shifty for the Tempter

The Fable of the Grass Widow and the Mesmeree and the Six Dollars

The Fable of the Honest Money-Maker and the Partner of His Joys, Such as They Were

The Fable of Why Sweetie Flew the Track

The Fable of the Ex-Chattel and the Awful Swat that was Waiting for the Colonel

The Fable of the Corporation Director and the Mislaid Ambition

The Fable of What Happened the Night the Men Came to the Women’s Club

The Fable of Why Essie’s Tall Friend Got the Fresh Air

The Fable of the Michigan Counterfeit Who Wasn’t One Thing or the Other

The Fable of the Adult Girl Who Got Busy Before They Could Ring the Bell on Her

The Fable of the Man-Grabber Who Went Out of His Class

The Fable of the Inveterate Joker who Remained in Montana

The Fable of the Cruel Insult and the Arrival of the Lover from No. 6

The Fable of the Lodge Fiend, and the Delilah Trick Played by His Wife

The Fable of the Apprehensive Sparrow and Her Daily Escape

The Fable of the Regular Customer and the Copper-Lined Entertainer

The Fable of Lutie, the False Alarm, and How She Finished about the Time that She Started

The Fable of the Cotillon Leader from the Huckleberry District with the Intermittent Memory

The Fable of the He-Gossip and the Man’s Wife and the Man

The Fable of the Author Who was Sorry for What He Did to Willie

THE FABLE OF HOW UNCLE BREWSTER WAS TOO SHIFTY FOR THE TEMPTER

When Uncle Brewster had put on his Annual Collar and combed his Beard and was about to start to the Depot, his Wife, Aunt Mehely, looked at him through her Specs and shook her Head doubtfully.

Then she spoke as follows:  “You go slow there in the City.  You know your Failin’s.  You’re just full of the Old Harry, and when you’re Het Up you’re just like as not to Raise Ned.”

“I guess I can take keer of myse’f about as well as the Next One,” retorted Uncle Brewster.  “I’ve been to the Mill an’ got my Grist, if any one should ask.  I ain’t no Greeny.”

With that he started for the Train, which was due in one Hour.

As he rode toward the Great City he smoked a Baby Mine Cigar, purchased of the Butcher, and told the Brakeman a few Joe Millers just to throw out the Impression that he was Fine and Fancy.