THE LITTLE DOG, (voice way up in her head)
I’m the darling little dog, so pretty!
(TOBY is struck dumb with admiration and astonishment. KIKI, indignant, has jumped on top of the piano and remains an unseen and hostile spectator.)
THE LITTLE DOG, (astonished at not hearing the chorus of admiration that everywhere greets her, is reciting—)
I’m the darling little dog, so pretty! I weigh only one pound, eleven ounces, my collar is of gold, my ears of black satin, lined with shiny rubber, my nails are polished like the beaks of little birds. (Catching sight of TOBY-DOG.) Oh!—someone—(silence). He’s rather good-looking.
(They ogle and strut.)
How tiny she is!
Sir—don’t come near me.
I don’t know. My mistress knows. She’s not here. She stayed in the other room.
How old are you?
THE LITTLE DOG Eleven months, (reciting) I’m eleven months old. At the dog show, my mother took first prize for beauty. I weigh only one pound eleven ounces and—
You’ve said that already. What makes you so little?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (from the piano)
She’s ugly, and has an evil odor. Her paws are deformed, she can’t stand still an instant, and this dog takes pains to make himself fascinating!
THE LITTLE DOG, (very coquettish and talkative) It’s my lineage, of course. One can hold me in a muff. You’ve seen my new collar? It’s gold....
And what’s that hanging from it?
My mother’s medal, Sir. I always wear it. I come from the Palais de Glace, where I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted to bite a gentleman who was speaking to my mistress. How they laughed!
(She wriggles and chirps.)
What an odd creature! Is she really a dog? (Sniffs.) Yes ... smells of rice powder, but it’s a dog just the same. (Aloud.) Sit down a moment, it makes me quite dizzy to see you moving about so.
Certainly. (She lies down, like a miniature greyhound, crossing her fore-paws to show the slimness of her toes.) You were here all alone?
TOBY-DOG, (looking toward the piano)