“I know what you’re going to say,” she said,
      “You’re going to ask what I hope to gain
      By stepping down to the dusty plain,
    By seeking a stone when I might have bread;
      You’re going to say:  ’Can a vote replace
      The tender force of a woman’s grace?’
    Now, aren’t you honestly?” “Yes,” he said.

    “I know what you’re going to do,” he said,
      “You’re going to talk to me all day long
      Trying to make me see I’m wrong;
    And other men who are less misled
      Will pale with jealousy when they see
      The time you give to converting me;
    Now, aren’t you honestly?” “Ye-es,” she said.

What Every Woman Must Not Say

    “I don’t pretend I’m clever,” he remarked, “or very wise,”
    And at this she murmured, “Really,” with the right polite surprise. 
    “But women,” he continued, “I must own I understand;
    Women are a contradiction—­honorable and underhand—­
    Constant as the star Polaris, yet as changeable as Fate,
    Always flying what they long for, always seeking what they hate.” 
    “Don’t you think,” began the lady, but he cut her short:  “I see
    That you take it personally—­women always do,” said he. 
    “You will pardon me for saying every woman is the same,
    Always greedy for approval, always sensitive to blame;
    Sweet and passionate are women; weak in mind, though strong in soul;
    Even you admit, I fancy, that they have no self-control?”
    “No, I don’t admit they haven’t,” said the patient lady then,
    “Or they could not sit and listen to the nonsense talked by men.”

Chivalry

    It’s treating a woman politely
      As long as she isn’t a fright: 
    It’s guarding the girls who act rightly,
      If you can be judge of what’s right;
    It’s being—­not just, but so pleasant;
      It’s tipping while wages are low;
    It’s making a beautiful present,
      And failing to pay what you owe.

    From Our Own Nursery Rhymes

    “Chivalry, Chivalry, where have you been?”
    “I’ve been out seeking a beautiful queen.” 
    “Chivalry, Chivalry, what did you find?”
    “Commonplace women, not much to my mind.”

Women

(With rather insincere apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling.)

    I went to ask my government if they would set me free,
    They gave a pardoned crook a vote, but hadn’t one for me;
    The men about me laughed and frowned and said:  “Go home, because
    We really can’t be bothered when we’re busy making laws.”

    Oh, it’s women this, and women that and women have no sense,
    But it’s pay your taxes promptly when it comes to the expense,
    It comes to the expense, my dears, it comes to the expense,
    It’s pay your taxes promptly when it comes to the expense.