DAVENPORT
Whims!  You might turn the laugh of the world upon itself in a fortnight. 
These things are but nine days’ wonders.

PENDULOUS
Do you think so, Mr. Davenport?

DAVENPORT
Where does she live?

PENDULOUS She has lodgings in the next street, in a sort of garden-house, that belongs to one Cutlet.  I have not seen her since the affair.  I was going there at her request.

DAVENPORT
Ha, ha, ha!

PENDULOUS
Why do you laugh?

DAVENPORT
The oddest fellow!  I will tell you—­But here he comes.

Enter Cutlet.

CUTLET (To Davenport.) Sir, the young lady at my house is desirous you should return immediately.  She has heard something from home.

PENDULOUS
What do I hear?

DAVENPORT ’Tis her fears, I daresay.  My dear Pendulous, you will excuse me?—­I must not tell him our situation at present, though it cost him a fit of jealousy.  We shall have fifty opportunities for explanation. [Exit.]

PENDULOUS
Does that gentleman visit the lady at your lodgings?

CUTLET
He is quite familiar there, I assure you.  He is all in all with her, as
they say.

PENDULOUS
It is but too plain.  Fool that I have been, not to suspect that, while
she pretended scruples, some rival was at the root of her infidelity!

CUTLET
You seem distressed, Sir.  Bless me!

PENDULOUS
I am, friend, above the reach of comfort.

CUTLET
Consolation, then, can be to no purpose?

PENDULOUS
None.

CUTLET
I am so happy to have met with him!

PENDULOUS
Wretch, wretch, wretch!

CUTLET
There he goes!  How he walks about biting his nails!  I would not exchange
this luxury of unavailing pity for worlds.

PENDULOUS
Stigmatized by the world—­

CUTLET
My case exactly.  Let us compare notes.

PENDULOUS
For an accident which—­

CUTLET
For a profession which—­

PENDULOUS
In the eye of reason has nothing in it—­

CUTLET
Absolutely nothing in it—­

PENDULOUS
Brought up at a public bar—­

CUTLET
Brought up to an odious trade—­

PENDULOUS
With nerves like mine—­

CUTLET
With nerves like mine—­

PENDULOUS
Arraigned, condemned—­

CUTLET
By a foolish world—­

PENDULOUS
By a judge and jury—­

CUTLET
By an invidious exclusion disqualified for sitting upon a jury at all—­

PENDULOUS
Tried, cast, and—­

CUTLET
What?

PENDULOUS
HANGED, Sir, HANGED by the neck, till I was—­

CUTLET
Bless me!

PENDULOUS
Why should not I publish it to the whole world, since she, whose
prejudice alone I wished to overcome, deserts me?