Babbit eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 351 pages of information about Babbit.

“No—­no thanks—­can’t take the time!” yelped Babbitt, rushing toward the door.

Thereafter he was often seen at the Chatham Road Presbyterian Church, but it is recorded that he avoided shaking hands with the pastor at the door.

III

If his moral fiber had been so weakened by rebellion that he was not quite dependable in the more rigorous campaigns of the Good Citizens’ League nor quite appreciative of the church, yet there was no doubt of the joy with which Babbitt returned to the pleasures of his home and of the Athletic Club, the Boosters, the Elks.

Verona and Kenneth Escott were eventually and hesitatingly married.  For the wedding Babbitt was dressed as carefully as was Verona; he was crammed into the morning-coat he wore to teas thrice a year; and with a certain relief, after Verona and Kenneth had driven away in a limousine, he returned to the house, removed the morning coat, sat with his aching feet up on the davenport, and reflected that his wife and he could have the living-room to themselves now, and not have to listen to Verona and Kenneth worrying, in a cultured collegiate manner, about minimum wages and the Drama League.

But even this sinking into peace was less consoling than his return to being one of the best-loved men in the Boosters’ Club.

IV

President Willis Ijams began that Boosters’ Club luncheon by standing quiet and staring at them so unhappily that they feared he was about to announce the death of a Brother Booster.  He spoke slowly then, and gravely: 

“Boys, I have something shocking to reveal to you; something terrible about one of our own members.”

Several Boosters, including Babbitt, looked disconcerted.

“A knight of the grip, a trusted friend of mine, recently made a trip up-state, and in a certain town, where a certain Booster spent his boyhood, he found out something which can no longer be concealed.  In fact, he discovered the inward nature of a man whom we have accepted as a Real Guy and as one of us.  Gentlemen, I cannot trust my voice to say it, so I have written it down.”

He uncovered a large blackboard and on it, in huge capitals, was the legend: 

George Follansbee Babbitt—­oh you Folly!

The Boosters cheered, they laughed, they wept, they threw rolls at
Babbitt, they cried, “Speech, speech!  Oh you Folly!”

President Ijams continued: 

“That, gentlemen, is the awful thing Georgie Babbitt has been concealing all these years, when we thought he was just plain George F. Now I want you to tell us, taking it in turn, what you’ve always supposed the F. stood for.”

Flivver, they suggested, and Frog-face and Flathead and Farinaceous and Freezone and Flapdoodle and Foghorn.  By the joviality of their insults Babbitt knew that he had been taken back to their hearts, and happily he rose.

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Project Gutenberg
Babbit from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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