CHACHO.  I am to blame for it.  Do not get excited.  I will add 1,000 rubles to it, if need be, from the money I have laid by for my burial.

OSSEP.  From your burial money?  Have I already fallen so low that I must ask alms?  Keep your money for yourself!  I do not want it.  Drop that complaint also, for I am still rich, very rich.  How can it injure me that Santurian has failed?  I stand here firm and unshakable, and have inexhaustible money resources. [Tearing his hair.] O God!  O God! [Walks to and fro excitedly.] Now I will go and wish my son-in-law joy.  Yes, I must go so that I shall not make myself ridiculous to him.  The man is a government official!
                    [Exit right, laughing bitterly.

CHACHO.  Gracious heaven, be thou our saviour and deliverer.

CURTAIN.

ACT SECOND

SCENE I

A richly furnished sales-room in Barssegh’s house.

MICHO.  Two, three, four, five, six and this little piece.  It does not measure so much!

BARSSEGH [standing up and giving Micho a rap on the nose].  You have what is lacking there.  Measure again.  Now you’ve got what is lacking.  I will tear your soul out of your body if you measure so that in seven arschin[44] it comes out one werschok short.

[44] Russian measure of length.

MICHO [measuring again].  O dear, O dear!

BARSSEGH.  Look out, or I will take that “O dear” out of your ear.  Be up and at it now!

MICHO.  Oh, Mr. Barssegh! [Measuring.] One, two, three—­

BARSSEGH.  Stretch it, you blockhead.

MICHO [stretching the cotton].  Three, four. [Wipes the perspiration from his brow.]

BARSSEGH.  What is the matter with you?  You sweat as though you had a mule-pack on your back.

MICHO.  Five.

BARSSEGH.  Pull it out more.

MICHO.  Six and this little piece.  It lacks three werschok again.

BARSSEGH [pulling his ears].  It lacks three werschok?  There they are!

MICHO.  Oh my, oh my!

BARSSEGH.  You calf; will you ever develop into a man?

MICHO.  O dear mother!

BARSSEGH [pulling him again by the ear].  Doesn’t it grow longer?

MICHO [crying].  Dear Mr. Barssegh, dear sir, let me go.

BARSSEGH.  I want to teach you how to measure.

MICHO.  It reaches, I say; it reaches, indeed; it reaches.  Let me measure again.

BARSSEGH.  Now take care that you make it seven arschin.

MICHO [aside].  Holy Karapet, help me. [Measuring.] One, two—­

BARSSEGH.  O you blockhead!

MICHO.  Three.

BARSSEGH Wake up!

MICHO.  Four.

BARSSEGH.  Haven’t you seen how Dartscho measures?