The following recipe for a French tragedy is not unworthy of Swift.  “Take two good characters, and one wicked, either a tyrant, a traitor, or a rogue.  Let the latter set the two former by the ears and make them very unhappy for four acts, during which he must promulgate all manner of shocking maxims, interlarded with poisons, daggers, oracles, &c.; while the good characters repeat their catechism of moralities.  In the fifth act, let the power of the tyrant be overthrown by an insurrection, or the treason of the villain be discovered by some episodical personage, and the worthy folks be preserved.  Above all, don’t forget, if there is any difference subsisting between France and England, or between the parliament and the clergy, to allude to it, and you will have fabricated such a piece as shall be applauded three times a week for three weeks together at the Comedie Francaise.”

* * * * *

OLD AND NEW CHRISTMAS.

  Some time, far back, my Christmas fare
    Was turkey and a chine,
  With puddings made of things most rare,
    And plenty of good wine. 
  When times grew worse, I then could dine
  On goose or roasted pig;
  Instead of wine, a glass of grog,
    And dance the merry jig. 
  When still grown worse, I then could dine
    On beef and pudding plain;
  Instead of grog, some good strong beer—­
    Nor did I then complain. 
  But now my joy is turn’d to grief,
    For Christmas day is here;
  No turkey, chine, or goose, or beef,
    No wine, no grog, no beer.

Dec. 25, 1828.

* * * * *

THE IRISH SCHOOLBOY.

  —­When I’m late for school,
    The excuse ’twill be my mother, Sir;
  And when that one won’t do,
    I’ll try and make another, Sir.

  Fer my mother is a good man,
    And so, Sir, is my daddy O—­
  And ’twill not be my fault
    If I’m not their own Paddy O.

* * * * *

A “RALE” SHOEMAKER’S BILL.

“His Honur Mr. Trant, Esquire, Dr. to James Barret, Shoemaker.”

L. s. d.

To clicking and sowling Miss Clara 0 2 6
To strapping and welting Miss Biddy 0 1 0
To binding and closing Miss Mary 0 1 6
________
Paid, July 14, 1828.  L0 5 0

JAMES BARRET.

Croker’s Legends of the Lakes.

* * * * *

PATHETIC REJOINDER.

A celebrated literary character, in a northern metropolis, had a black servant, whom he occasionally employed in beating covers for woodcocks and other game.  On one occasion of intense frost, the native of Afric’s sultry shores was nearly frozen to death by the cold and wet of the bushes, which sparkled, (but not with fire-flies,) and on which, pathetically blowing his fingers, he was heard to exclaim, in reply to an observation of his master, that “the woodcocks were very, scarce,” “Ah, massa, me wish woodcock never been!”