to which we have just alluded. Indeed, so broad
was the ground he took, that he held it to be not
only immoral, but, what was far worse, ungenteel,
to swallow any thing stronger than small beer, before
the hour allotted to dinner. After that important
period, it was not only permitted to assuage the previous
mortifications of the flesh, but, so liberal did he
show himself in the orthodox indulgence, that he was
regularly carried to his bed at midnight, from which
he as regularly issued, in the course of the following
morning, to discourse again on the thousand deformities
of premature drink. And here we would take occasion
to say, that, as to our own insignificant person,
we eschew the abomination altogether; and only regret
that those of the two nations, who find pleasure in
the practice, could not come to some amicable understanding
as to the precise period, of the twenty-four hours,
when it is permitted to such Christian gentlemen as
talk English to get drunk. That the negotiators
who framed the last treaty of amity should have overlooked
this important moral topic, is another evidence that
both parties were so tired of an unprofitable war
as to patch up a peace in a hurry. It is not too
late to name a commission for this purpose; and, in
order that the question may be fairly treated on its
merits, we presume to suggest to the Executive the
propriety of nominating, as our commissioner, some
confirmed advocate of the system of “juleps.”
It is believed our worthy and indulgent Mother can
have no difficulty in selecting a suitable opponent
from the ranks of her numerous and well-trained diplomatic
corps.
With this manifestation of our personal liberality,
united to so much interest in the proper, and we hope
final, disposition of this important question, we
may be permitted to resume the narrative, without being
set down as advocates for morning stimulants, or evening
intoxication; which is a very just division of the
whole subject, as we believe, from no very limited
observation.
The landlord of the “Foul Anchor,” then,
was early a-foot, to gain an honest penny from any
of the supporters of the former system who might chance
to select his bar for their morning sacrifices to Bacchus,
in preference to that of his neighbour, he who endeavoured
to entice the lieges, by exhibiting a red-faced man,
in a scarlet coat, that was called the “Head
of George the Second.” It would seem that
the commendable activity of the alert publican was
not to go without its reward. The tide of custom
set strongly, for the first half-hour, towards the
haven of his hospitable bar; nor did he appear entirely
to abandon the hopes of a further influx, even after
the usual period of such arrivals began to pass away.
Finding, however, that his customers were beginning
to depart, on their several pursuits, he left his
station, and appeared at the outer door, with a hand
in each pocket, as though he found a secret pleasure
in the merry jingling of their new tenants. A