His Lordship is exceeding ill.  Dr. S. has no hopes of him.  The only consolation I can have for the death of a relation who loves me so well, if he do die, must arise from the additional power it will put into my hands of showing how much I am,

My dearest life,
Your ever-affectionate, faithful,
Lovelace.

LETTER XXXVIII

Mr. Lovelace, to miss Clarissa Harlowe [SUPERSCRIBED to Mrs. Lovelace.] M. Hall, Sunday night, June 25.

MY DEAREST LOVE,

I cannot find words to express how much I am mortified at the return of my messenger without a line from you.

Thursday is so near, that I will send messenger after messenger every four hours, till I have a favourable answer; the one to meet the other, till its eve arrives, to know if I may venture to appear in your presence with the hope of having my wishes answered on that day.

Your love, Madam, I neither expect, nor ask for; nor will, till my future behaviour gives you cause to think I deserve it.  All I at present presume to wish is, to have it in my power to do you all the justice I can now do you:  and to your generosity will I leave it, to reward me, as I shall merit, with your affection.

At present, revolving my poor behaviour of Friday night before you, I think I should sooner choose to go to my last audit, unprepared for it as I am, than to appear in your presence, unless you give me some hope, that I shall be received as your elected husband, rather than, (however deserved,) as a detested criminal.

Let me, therefore, propose an expedient, in order to spare my own confusion; and to spare you the necessity for that soul-harrowing recrimination, which I cannot stand, and which must be disagreeable to yourself—­to name the church, and I will have every thing in readiness; so that our next interview will be, in a manner, at the very altar; and then you will have the kind husband to forgive for the faults of the ungrateful lover.  If your resentment be still too high to write more, let it only be in your own dear hand, these words, St. Martin’s church, Thursday—­or these, St. Giles’s church, Thursday; nor will I insist upon any inscription or subscription, or so much as the initials of your name.  This shall be all the favour I will expect, till the dear hand itself is given to mine, in presence of that Being whom I invoke as a witness of the inviolable faith and honour of

Your adoring
Lovelace.

LETTER XXXIX

Mr. Lovelace, to miss Clarissa Harlowe [SUPERSCRIBED to Mrs. Lovelace.] M. Hall, Monday, June 26.

Once more, my dearest love, do I conjure you to send me the four requested words.  There is no time to be lost.  And I would not have next Thursday go over, without being entitled to call you mine, for the world; and that as well for your sake as for my own.  Hitherto all that has passed is between you and me only; but, after Thursday, if my wishes are unanswered, the whole will be before the world.