The Best American Humorous Short Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 365 pages of information about The Best American Humorous Short Stories.

The Best American Humorous Short Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 365 pages of information about The Best American Humorous Short Stories.

The Van Kamps went out to consider the arrangement of the barn.  Evelyn returned first and came out on the porch to find a handkerchief.  It was not there, but Ralph was.  She was very much surprised to see him, and she intimated as much.

“It’s dreadfully damp in the woods,” he explained.  “By the way, you don’t happen to know the Whitleys, of Washington, do you?  Most excellent people.”

“I’m quite sorry that I do not,” she replied.  “But you will have to excuse me.  We shall be kept very busy with arranging our apartments.”

Ralph sprang to his feet with a ludicrous expression.

“Not the second floor front suite!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, no!  Not at all,” she reassured him.

He laughed lightly.

“Honors are about even in that game,” he said.

“Evelyn,” called her mother from the hall.  “Please come and take those front suite curtains down to the barn.”

“Pardon me while we take the next trick,” remarked Evelyn with a laugh quite as light and gleeful as his own, and disappeared into the hall.

He followed her slowly, and was met at the door by her father.

“You are the younger Mr. Ellsworth, I believe,” politely said Mr. Van Kamp.

“Ralph Ellsworth.  Yes, sir.”

“Here is a note for your father.  It is unsealed.  You are quite at liberty to read it.”

Mr. Van Kamp bowed himself away, and Ralph opened the note, which read: 

EDWARD EASTMAN ELLSWORTH, ESQ.,

Dear Sir:  This is to notify you that I have rented the entire furniture of the Tutt House for the ensuing week, and am compelled to assume possession of that in the three second floor front rooms, as well as all the balance not in actual use by Mr. and Mrs. Tutt and the driver of the stage.  You are quite welcome, however, to make use of the furnishings in the small room over the kitchen.  Your luggage you will find undisturbed.  Regretting any inconvenience that this transaction may cause you, I remain,

Yours respectfully,

J. BELMONT VAN KAMP.

Ralph scratched his head in amused perplexity.  It devolved upon him to even up the affair a little before his mother came back.  He must support the family reputation for resourcefulness, but it took quite a bit of scalp irritation before he aggravated the right idea into being.  As soon as the idea came, he went in and made a hide-bound bargain with Uncle Billy, then he went out into the hall and waited until Evelyn came down with a huge armload of window curtains.

“Honors are still even,” he remarked.  “I have just bought all the edibles about the place, whether in the cellar, the house or any of the surrounding structures, in the ground, above the ground, dead or alive, and a bargain’s a bargain as between man and man.”

“Clever of you, I’m sure,” commented Miss Van Kamp, reflectively.  Suddenly her lips parted with a smile that revealed a double row of most beautiful teeth.  He meditatively watched the curve of her lips.

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Project Gutenberg
The Best American Humorous Short Stories from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.