GORDEY KARPYCH.  Why did they let him in?

EGORUSHKA.  It must be that he just took it into his head; we can’t stop him, anyhow. [Bursts out laughing.]

GORDEY KARPYCH.  What’s he doing?

EGORUSHKA.  He’s turning out the guests. [Bursts out laughing] “You’re glad to eat another man’s bread,” says he.  “I’m also the host,” says he.  “I,” says he——­ [Bursts out laughing.]

GORDEY KARPYCH.  Sh—­he’s ruined me!

[Goes out with EGORUSHKA.]

KORSHUNOV.  What’s all this about?

LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA.  I don’t know.  It must be that uncle is—­Sometimes he takes a notion.

Enter RAZLYULYAYEV, MASHA, and LIZA.

SCENE IX

LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, KORSHUNOV, RAZLYULYAYEV, MASHA, and LIZA.

PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [At the door] Where is your brother?  Where is Lyubim
Karpych?  What has he done?  Oh, misery!

LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA.  He isn’t here, mother.

PELAGEYA EGOROVNA goes out.

RAZLYULYAYEV.  There you are!  Lyubim Karpych is playing some famous tricks! 
Ha, ha, ha!  He’s cutting up such capers, it beats all!

LIZA.  It isn’t at all funny, it’s just rude!

MASHA.  I simply didn’t know what to do from embarrassment.

They seat themselves on the sofa. LYUBIM KARPYCH comes in.

SCENE X

The same and LYUBIM KARPYCH

LIZA.  Oh, good heavens, again!

MASHA.  This is terrible!

RAZLYULYAYEV.  Ha, ha, ha!

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  Gurr, gurr, gurr; bul, bul, bul!  With the finger nine!  With the cucumber fifteen!  How do, friend! [Holds out his hand to KORSHUNOV] My respects!  I haven’t seen you for a thousand years and a day!  How are you?

KORSHUNOV.  Oh, is this you, Lyubim?

LYUBIM KARPYCH. [Covering his face with his hands] I’m not I, and the horse is not mine, and I’m not a coachman.

KORSHUNOV.  I remember you, brother!  You used to roam the town and pick up kopeks.

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  You remember how I used to pick up kopeks, but do you remember how you and I used to go on sprees together?  How we sat through the dark autumn nights, and how we skipped back and forth, from the tavern to the wine-shop?  And don’t you know who ruined me, and who turned me out with a beggar’s wallet?

KORSHUNOV.  Why didn’t you look out for yourself?  Nobody dragged you in by the collar, my dear fellow.  It’s your own fault.

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  I was a fool!  But, well, you haven’t much to be proud of!  You raised me to such heights, you promoted me to such a place—­I’ve stolen nothing, and yet I’m ashamed to look men in the eyes!

KORSHUNOV.  You’re the same old joker as ever! [Turning to LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] You’ve got a jolly uncle!  For old acquaintance sake, we’ll surely have to give him a ruble.