not fear, and only respects him that has done him hurt or can do it.  He is like Nebuchadnezzar after he had been a month at grass, but will never return to be a man again as he did, if he might, for he despises all manner of lives but his own, unless it be his horse’s, to whom he is but valet de chambre.  He never shows himself humane or kind in anything but when he pimps to his cow or makes a match for his mare; in all things else he is surly and rugged, and does not love to be pleased himself, which makes him hate those that do him any good.  He is a stoic to all passions but fear, envy, and malice, and hates to do any good though it cost him nothing.  He abhors a gentleman because he is most unlike himself, and repines as much at his manner of living as if he maintained him.  He murmurs at him as the saints do at the wicked, as if he kept his right from him, for he makes his clownery a sect and damns all that are not of his Church.  He manures the earth like a dunghill, but lets himself lie fallow, for no improvement will do good upon him.  Cain was the first of his family, and he does his endeavour not to degenerate from the original churlishness of his ancestor.  He that was fetched from the plough to be made dictator had not half his pride and insolence, nor Caligula’s horse that was made consul.  All the worst names that are given to men are borrowed from him, as villain, deboise, peasant, &c.  He wears his clothes like a hide, and shifts them no oftener than a beast does his hair.  He is a beast that Gesner never thought of.

A WOOER

Stands candidate for cuckold, and if he miss of it, it is none of his fault, for his merit is sufficiently known.  He is commonly no lover, but able to pass for a most desperate one where he finds it is like to prove of considerable advantage to him, and therefore has passions lying by him of all sizes proportionable to all women’s fortunes, and can be indifferent, melancholy, or stark-mad according as their estates give him occasion; and when he finds it is to no purpose, can presently come to himself again and try another.  He prosecutes his suit against his mistress as clients do a suit in law, and does nothing without the advice of his learned counsel, omits no advantage for want of soliciting, and, when he gets her consent, overthrows her.  He endeavours to match his estate, rather than himself, to the best advantage, and if his mistress’s fortune and his do but come to an agreement, their persons are easily satisfied, the match is soon made up, and a cross marriage between all four is presently concluded.  He is not much concerned in his lady’s virtues, for if the opinion of the Stoics be true, that the virtuous are always rich, there is no doubt but she that is rich must be virtuous.  He never goes without a list in his pocket of all the widows and virgins about the town, with particulars of their jointures, portions, and inheritances, that if one