CHARIVARIA.

The Kaiser has again visited the High Seas Fleet in security at Wilhelmshaven.  Enthusiastic applause greeted the brief speech in which he urged them “to stick to it.”

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There is no truth in the rumour that one of the recently escaped Huns got away disguised as Mr. Ramsay MACDONALD.

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Some commotion was caused in the Strand last week when a policeman accused a man of whistling for a taxi-cab.  Later, however, the policeman accepted the gentleman’s plea that he was not whistling, but that was his natural face.

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From the latest reports from Dover we gather that this year the Channel has decided to swim Great Britain.

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As a result of the excessive rain a nigger troupe at Margate were seen to pale visibly.

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Fortunately for the Americans there is one man who will stand by them in their hour of trouble.  According to a Spanish news message Mr. Jack Johnson has decided not to return to America.

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Owing to the scarcity of matches we understand that many smokers now adopt the plan of waiting for the fire-engine to turn out and then proceed to the conflagration to get a light.

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A catfish has been caught at Hastings.  It died worth a lady’s gold bracelet and a small pocket-knife.

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The Norwegian explorer, ROALD Amundsen, is preparing for a trip to the North Pole in 1918.  Additional interest now attaches to this spot as being the only territory whose neutrality the Germans have omitted to violate.

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Russian tea is being sold in London at 12s. 7d. a pound.  It is remarkable that, with the country in its present disorganised condition, the Russian merchants can still hold their own without the assistance of a Food Controller.

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A room for quick luncheons, not to cost more than 1s. 3d., has been opened in Northumberland Avenue for busy Government officials.  It is hoped eventually to provide room to enable a few other people to join the Geddes family at their mid-day meal.

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King Constantine, says a despatch, has rented an expensive villa overlooking Lake Zurich.  Just the thing for an ex-pensive monarch.

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We are requested to say that the man named Smith, charged at Bow Police Court the other day, is in no way connected with the other Mr. Smiths.

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At a vegetable show at Godalming, 5,780 dead butterflies were exhibited by children.  It is understood that the pacifists are protesting against this encouragement of the martial spirit among the young.

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Considerable annoyance has been caused in Government circles by the announcement that “at last the War Office has been aroused.”  Officials there, however, deny the accusation.