SIR RADERIC’S PAGE.
Good faith, Master Prodigo is an excellent fellow. He takes the Gulan
Ebullitio so excellently.
AMORETTO’S PAGE. He is a good liberal gentleman: he hath bestowed an ounce of tobacco upon us; and, as long as it lasts, come cut and long tail, we’ll spend it as liberally for his sake.
SIR RADERIC’S PAGE.
Come, fill the pipe quickly, while my master is in his melancholy
humour; it’s just the melancholy of a collier’s horse.
If you cough, Jack, after your tobacco, for a punishment you shall kiss
SIR RADERIC. It’s a foul oversight, that a man of worship cannot keep a wench in his house, but there must be muttering and surmising. It was the wisest saying that my father ever uttered, that a wife was the name of necessity, not of pleasure; for what do men marry for, but to stock their ground, and to have one to look to the linen, sit at the upper end of the table, and carve up a capon; one that can wear a hood like a hawk, and cover her foul face with a fan. But there’s no pleasure always to be tied to a piece of mutton; sometimes a mess of stewed broth will do well, and an unlaced rabbit is best of all. Well, for mine own part, I have no great cause to complain, for I am well-provided of three bouncing wenches, that are mine own fee-simple; one of them I am presently to visit, if I can rid myself cleanly of this company. Let me see how the day goes [he pulls his watch out]. Precious coals! the time is at hand; I must meditate on an excuse to be gone.
The which, I say, is grounded on the statute I spake of before, enacted
in the reign of Henry VI.
AMORETTO. It is a plain case, whereon I mooted in our Temple, and that was this: put case, there be three brethren, John a Nokes, John a Nash, and John a Stile. John a Nokes the elder, John a Nash the younger, and John a Stile the youngest of all. John a Nash the younger dieth without issue of his body lawfully begotten. Whether shall his lands ascend to John a Nokes the elder, or descend to John a Stile the youngest of all? The answer is, the lands do collaterally descend, not ascend.
Very true; and for a proof hereof I will show you a place in Littleton
which is very pregnant in this point.
ACTUS IV., SCAENA 2.
Enter INGENIOSO, FUROR, PHANTASMA.
INGENIOSO. I’ll pawn my wits, that is, my revenues, my land, my money, and whatsoever I have, for I have nothing but my wit, that they are at hand. Why, any sensible snout may wind Master Amoretto and his pomander, Master Recorder and his two neat’s feet that wear no socks, Sir Raderic by his rammish complexion; Olet Gorgonius hircum, sicut Lupus in fabula. Furor, fire the touch-box of your wit: Phantasma, let your invention play tricks like an ape: begin thou, Furor, and open like a flap-mouthed hound: follow thou, Phantasma, like a lady’s puppy: and as for me, let me alone; I’ll come after, like a water-dog, that will shake them off when I have no use of them. My masters, the watchword is given. Furor, discharge.