MEN. Nam, believe it, for I saw it, and which is more, I have practised this device often. Once when I had a quarrel with one of my lady Veritas’ naked knaves, and had ’ppointed him the field, I conveyed into the heart of my buckler an adamant, and when we met, I drew all the foins of his rapier, whithersoever he intended them, or howsoever I guided mine arm, pointed still to the midst of my buckler, so that by this means I hurt the knave mortally, and myself came away untouched, to the wonder of all the beholders.
ANA. Sirrah, you speak metaphorically, because thy wit, Mendacio, always draws men’s objections to thy forethought excuses.
HEU. Anamnestes, ’tis true, and I have an addition to this, which is to make the bullet shot from the enemy to return immediately upon the gunner. But let all these pass, and say the worst thou canst against me.
ANA. I say, guns were found out for the quick despatch of mortality; and when thou sawest men grow wise, and beget so fair a child as Peace of so foul and deformed a mother as War, lest there should be no murder, thou devisedst poison.
MEN. Nay, fie, Nam, urge him not too far.
ANA. And last and worst, thou foundest out cookery, that kills more than weapons, guns, wars, or poisons, and would destroy all, but that thou invented’st physic, that helps to make away some.
HEU. But, sirrah, besides all this, I devised pillories for such forging villains as thyself.
ANA. Call’st me villain?
[They fight, and are parted by MENDACIO.
MEN. You shall not fight as long as I am here. Give over, I say.
HEU. Mendacio, you offer me great wrong to hold me: in good faith, I shall fall out with you.
MEN. Away, away, away; you are Invention, are you not?
HEU. Yes, sir; what then?
MEN. And you Remembrance?
ANA. Well, sir, well?
MEN. Then I will be Judicium, the moderator betwixt you, and make you both friends; come, come, shake hands, shake hands.
HEU. Well, well, if you will needs have it so.
ANA. I am in some sort content.
[MENDACIO walks with them, holding them by the hands.
MEN. Why, this is as it should be; when Mendacio hath Invention on the one hand, and Remembrance on the other, as he’ll be sure never to be found with truth in his mouth, so he scorns to be taken in a lie. Eh, eh, eh, my fine wags? Whist!
[COMMUNIS SENSUS and the rest are seen to approach.]
COMMUNIS SENSUS, MEMORY, PHANTASTES, HEURESIS, ANAMNESTES, take their places on the bench as before, AUDITUS on the stage, a page before him, bearing his target, the field Sable, a heart Or; next him TRAGEDUS apparelled in black velvet, fair buskins, a falchion, &c.; then COMEDUS, in a light-coloured green taffeta robe, silk stockings, pumps, gloves, &c.
COMMUNIS SENSUS, MEMORY, PHANTASTES, HEURESIS, ANAMNESTES, &c.