An English Garner eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 467 pages of information about An English Garner.
Morum, an obstacle to mirth and talk:  and suffered to retire constantly with “Prosperity to the Church!” in my mouth [i.e., after drinking this toast].

    I declare, solemnly, Sir, that I have heard nothing from all the
    fine Gentlemen who visit us, more remarkable, for half a year, than
    that one young Lord was seven times drunk at Genoa.

I have lately taken the liberty to stay three or four rounds_ [i.e., of the bottle] beyond [the toast of] The Church! to see what topics of discourse they went upon:  but, to my great surprise, have hardly heard a word all the time, besides the Toasts.  Then they all stared full in my face, and shewed all the actions of uneasiness till I was gone.

    Immediately upon my departure, to use the words of an old Comedy,
    “I find by the noise they make, that they had a mind to be

I am at a loss to imagine what conversation they have among one another, which I may not be present at:  since I love innocent Mirth as much as any of them; and am shocked with no freedoms whatsoever, which are inconsistent with Christianity.
I have, with much ado, maintained my post hitherto at the dessert, and every day eat a tart in the face of my Patron:  but how long I shall be invested with this privilege, I do not know.  For the servants, who do not see me supported as I was in my old Lord’s time, begin to brush very familiarly by me:  and they thrust aside my chair, when they set the sweetmeats on the table.
I have been born and educated a Gentleman, and desire you will make the public sensible that the Christian Priesthood was never thought, in any Age or country, to debase the Man who is a member of it.  Among the great services which your useful Papers daily do to Religion, this perhaps will not be the least:  and it will lay a very great obligation on

    Your unknown servant,



Poor RICHARD improved, Being an Almanac, &c., for the year of our Lord 1758.




I have heard that nothing gives an author so great pleasure as to find his works respectfully quoted by other learned authors.  This pleasure I have seldom enjoyed.  For though I have been, if I may say it without vanity, an eminent author of Almanacs annually, now a full quarter of a century, my brother authors in the same way, for what reason I know not, have ever been very sparing in their applauses; and no other author has taken the least notice of me:  so that did not my writings produce me some solid Pudding, the great deficiency of Praise would have quite discouraged me.

Project Gutenberg
An English Garner from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
Follow Us on Facebook