When Ma Wants Something New

Last night Ma said to Pa:  “My dear,
The Williamsons are coming here
To visit for a week or two,
An’ I must have a talk with you. 
We need some things which we must get—­
You promised me a dinner set,
An’ I should like it while they’re here.” 
An’ Pa looked up an’ said:  “My dear,
A dinner set?  Well, I guess not. 
What’s happened to the one we’ve got?”

“We need a parlor rug,” says Ma. 
“We’ve got a parlor rug,” says Pa. 
“We ought to have another chair.” 
“You’re sittin’ in a good one there.” 
“The parlor curtains are a fright.” 
“When these are washed they look all right.” 
“The old stuff’s pitiful to see.” 
“It still looks mighty good to me.” 
“The sofa’s worn beyond repair.” 
“It doesn’t look so bad, I swear.”

“Gee Whiz, you make me tired,” says Ma. 
“Why, what’s the matter now?” says Pa. 
“You come an’ go an’ never see
How old our stuff has grown to be;
It still looks just the same to you
As what it did when it was new,
An’ every time you think it strange
That I should like to have a change.” 
“I’m gettin’ old,” says Pa.  “Maybe
You’d like a younger man than me.”

“If this old rug was worn an’ thin,
At night you’d still come walkin’ in
An’ throw your hat upon a chair
An’ never see a single tear;
So long as any chair could stand
An’ bear your weight you’d think it grand. 
If home depended all on you,
It never would get something new.” 
“All right,” says Pa, “go buy the stuff! 
But, say, am I still good enough?”

Sittin’ on the Porch

Sittin’ on the porch at night when all the tasks are done,
Just restin’ there an’ talkin’, with my easy slippers on,
An’ my shirt band thrown wide open an’ my feet upon the rail,
Oh, it’s then I’m at my richest, with a wealth that cannot fail;
For the scent of early roses seems to flood the evening air,
An’ a throne of downright gladness is my wicker rocking chair.

The dog asleep beside me, an’ the children rompin’ ’round
With their shrieks of merry laughter, Oh, there is no gladder sound
To the ears o’ weary mortals, spite of all the scoffers say,
Or a grander bit of music than the children at their play! 
An’ I tell myself times over, when I’m sittin’ there at night,
That the world in which I’m livin’ is a place o’ real delight.

Then the moon begins its climbin’ an’ the stars shine overhead,
An’ the mother calls the children an’ she takes ’em up to bed,
An’ I smoke my pipe in silence an’ I think o’ many things,
An’ balance up my riches with the lonesomeness o’ kings,
An’ I come to this conclusion, an’ I’ll wager that I’m right—­
That I’m happier than they are, sittin’ on my porch at night.