A vessel sailed for England the day before their arrival at Hamburg, a circumstance which at first made him regret he had not used more expedition on the way. But he immediately recollected it might he for the best that he was left behind. This proved to be the case; for the vessel with which he would have sailed, meeting with contrary winds and dark weather, ran aground, and was obliged to put back, and when J.Y. left the Elbe she was lying in Cuxhaven harbor.
They landed at Hull on the 19th.
FROM HIS RETURN TO ENGLAND IN 1824, TO THE COMMENCEMENT OF HIS FIRST CONTINENTAL JOURNEY IN 1825.
On setting foot again in England, the dejected state of mind which had accompanied him on the journey returned with renewed force.
2 mo. 19.—I do not know how to describe my feelings in landing on my native shore: I feel a poor discouraged creature. May He who knows the sincerity of my heart be pleased to strengthen my poor mind, for I feel almost overwhelmed with fears and difficulties.
Still deeper was his emotion on visiting again the home of former days.
2 mo. 20.—Left Hull, and came by way of Selby and Wakefield to Barnsley. I felt my heart exceedingly burdened before I reached the place: it seemed as if all the bitter cups I had drunk in former times were going to be handed to me afresh. This may not be, perhaps, altogether on my own account. There is at times a fellow-feeling with others; and on my reaching this place, I soon felt my spirit dipped into sympathy with some of my dear connexions, who are not without their trials.
A few days afterwards, in allusion to the religious service of Elizabeth H. Walker of West Chester, U.S., in a public meeting for worship at Barnsley, he says:—
I do not really know what is the matter, but I fear I am going backwards from all that is good. When I look at the usefulness of others, O what an insignificant, useless being I appear!
This lowly opinion of himself, however, was not to serve as an excuse for idleness, and it was proposed to him to bear Elizabeth Walker company in a religious circuit in some of the midland counties, previous to the occurrence of the Yearly Meeting. He accepted the proposal; and they travelled together through part of Staffordshire, Warwick, Worcester, and Oxfordshire, visiting the meetings of Friends, and sometimes inviting the attendance of the public.
The dispirited state of mind which John Yeardley had brought with him from Germany accompanied him on this journey, and on the 30th of the Fourth Month he writes:—
I walked last evening in the fields, in a solitary frame of mind, being very low in spirits on many accounts. My own unfaithfulness deprives me of strength to cast off my burden as I go along; consequently I grow weaker and weaker, which is indeed diametrically opposite to growing stronger and stronger in the Lord. Lamentable case! O for a alteration for the better!