Bleak House eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,052 pages of information about Bleak House.

Mrs. Snagsby is so perpetually on the alert that the house becomes ghostly with creaking boards and rustling garments.  The ’prentices think somebody may have been murdered there in bygone times.  Guster holds certain loose atoms of an idea (picked up at Tooting, where they were found floating among the orphans) that there is buried money underneath the cellar, guarded by an old man with a white beard, who cannot get out for seven thousand years because he said the Lord’s Prayer backwards.

“Who was Nimrod?” Mrs. Snagsby repeatedly inquires of herself.  “Who was that lady—­that creature?  And who is that boy?” Now, Nimrod being as dead as the mighty hunter whose name Mrs. Snagsby has appropriated, and the lady being unproducible, she directs her mental eye, for the present, with redoubled vigilance to the boy.  “And who,” quoth Mrs. Snagsby for the thousand and first time, “is that boy?  Who is that—!” And there Mrs. Snagsby is seized with an inspiration.

He has no respect for Mr. Chadband.  No, to be sure, and he wouldn’t have, of course.  Naturally he wouldn’t, under those contagious circumstances.  He was invited and appointed by Mr. Chadband—­why, Mrs. Snagsby heard it herself with her own ears!—­to come back, and be told where he was to go, to be addressed by Mr. Chadband; and he never came!  Why did he never come?  Because he was told not to come.  Who told him not to come?  Who?  Ha, ha!  Mrs. Snagsby sees it all.

But happily (and Mrs. Snagsby tightly shakes her head and tightly smiles) that boy was met by Mr. Chadband yesterday in the streets; and that boy, as affording a subject which Mr. Chadband desires to improve for the spiritual delight of a select congregation, was seized by Mr. Chadband and threatened with being delivered over to the police unless he showed the reverend gentleman where he lived and unless he entered into, and fulfilled, an undertaking to appear in Cook’s Court to-morrow night, “to—­mor—­row—­night,” Mrs. Snagsby repeats for mere emphasis with another tight smile and another tight shake of her head; and to-morrow night that boy will be here, and to-morrow night Mrs. Snagsby will have her eye upon him and upon some one else; and oh, you may walk a long while in your secret ways (says Mrs. Snagsby with haughtiness and scorn), but you can’t blind me!

Mrs. Snagsby sounds no timbrel in anybody’s ears, but holds her purpose quietly, and keeps her counsel.  To-morrow comes, the savoury preparations for the Oil Trade come, the evening comes.  Comes Mr. Snagsby in his black coat; come the Chadbands; come (when the gorging vessel is replete) the ’prentices and Guster, to be edified; comes at last, with his slouching head, and his shuffle backward, and his shuffle forward, and his shuffle to the right, and his shuffle to the left, and his bit of fur cap in his muddy hand, which he picks as if it were some mangy bird he had caught and was plucking before eating raw, Jo, the very, very tough subject Mr. Chadband is to improve.

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Bleak House from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.