He is useless on
top of the ground; he ought to be under
it, inspiring the cabbages.
—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar
APRIL 1. This
is the day upon which we are reminded of what
we are on the other
three hundred and sixty-four. —
Pudd’nhead Wilson’s
Calendar
Wilson put on enough clothes for business purposes
and went to work under a high pressure of steam.
He was awake all over. All sense of weariness
had been swept away by the invigorating refreshment
of the great and hopeful discovery which he had made.
He made fine and accurate reproductions of a number
of his “records,” and then enlarged them
on a scale of ten to one with his pantograph.
He did these pantograph enlargements on sheets of
white cardboard, and made each individual line of
the bewildering maze of whorls or curves or loops which
consisted of the “pattern” of a “record”
stand out bold and black by reinforcing it with ink.
To the untrained eye the collection of delicate originals
made by the human finger on the glass plates looked
about alike; but when enlarged ten times they resembled
the markings of a block of wood that has been sawed
across the grain, and the dullest eye could detect
at a glance, and at a distance of many feet, that
no two of the patterns were alike. When Wilson
had at last finished his tedious and difficult work,
he arranged his results according to a plan in which
a progressive order and sequence was a principal feature;
then he added to the batch several pantograph enlargements
which he had made from time to time in bygone years.
The night was spent and the day well advanced now.
By the time he had snatched a trifle of breakfast,
it was nine o’clock, and the court was ready
to begin its sitting. He was in his place twelve
minutes later with his “records.”
Tom Driscoll caught a slight glimpse of the records,
and nudged his nearest friend and said, with a wink,
“Pudd’nhead’s got a rare eye to
business—thinks that as long as he can’t
win his case it’s at least a noble good chance
to advertise his window palace decorations without
any expense.” Wilson was informed that
his witnesses had been delayed, but would arrive presently;
but he rose and said he should probably not have occasion
to make use of their testimony. [An amused murmur ran
through the room: “It’s a clean backdown!
he gives up without hitting a lick!”] Wilson
continued: “I have other testimony—and
better. [This compelled interest, and evoked murmurs
of surprise that had a detectable ingredient of disappointment
in them.] If I seem to be springing this evidence upon
the court, I offer as my justification for this, that
I did not discover its existence until late last night,
and have been engaged in examining and classifying
it ever since, until half an hour ago. I shall
offer it presently; but first I wish to say a few
preliminary words.
