With troops of Scots and Scabs from North-by-Tweed. 
  The seven first years of his pacific reign
  Made him and half his nation Englishmen. 
  Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay,
  With packs and plods came whigging all away;
  Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarmed,
  With pride and hungry hopes completely armed;
  With native truth, diseases, and no money,
  Plundered our Canaan of the milk and honey. 
  Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen,—­
  And all their race are true-born Englishmen.

* * * * *

The wonder which remains is at our pride,
To value that which all wise men deride. 
For Englishmen to boast of generation
Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation. 
A true-born Englishman’s a contradiction,
In speech an irony, in fact a fiction;
A banter made to be a test of fools,
Which those that use it justly ridicules;
A metaphor invented to express
A man akin to all the universe.

  FROM A HYMN TO THE PILLORY

  Hail hieroglyphic state-machine,
  Contrived to punish fancy in! 
  Men that are men in thee can feel no pain,
  And all thy insignificants disdain. 
  Contempt, that false new word for shame,
  Is, without crime, an empty name,
  A shadow to amuse mankind,
  But never frights the wise or well-fixed mind: 
  Virtue despises human scorn,
  And scandals innocence adorn.

* * * * *

  Sometimes, the air of scandal to maintain,
  Villains look from thy lofty loops in vain;
  But who can judge of crimes by punishment
  Where parties rule and L[ord]s subservient? 
  Justice with, change of interest learns to bow,
  And what was merit once is murder now: 
  Actions receive their tincture from the times,
  And as they change, are virtues made or crimes. 
  Thou art the state-trap of the law,
  But neither can keep knaves nor honest men in awe;
  These are too hardened in offence,
  And those upheld by innocence.

* * * * *

  Thou art no shame to truth and honesty,
  Nor is the character of such defaced by thee
  Who suffer by oppressive injury. 
  Shame, like the exhalations of the sun,
  Falls back where first the motion was begun;
  And he who for no crime shall on thy brows appear
  Bears less reproach than they who placed him there.

  But if contempt is on thy face entailed,
  Disgrace itself shall be ashamed;
  Scandal shall blush that it has not prevailed
  To blast the man it has defamed. 
  Let all that merit equal punishment
  Stand there with him, and we are all content.

* * * * *

  Thou bugbear of the law, stand up and speak,
  Thy long misconstrued silence break;
  Tell us who ’tis upon thy ridge stands there,
  So full of fault and yet so void of fear;
  And from the paper in his hat,
  Let all mankind be told for what. 
  Tell them it was because he was too bold,
  And told those truths which should not ha’ been told,