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[Illustration:  Fashionable religion.

Father. “Well, my dear, did you have an amusing sermon this morning?”

Daughter. “O no!—­Very stupid.  Dr. Chipper isn’t the least funny nowadays—­preaches the regular old miserable Sinner sort of business.”]

* * * * *

Great men of America.

By Mose Skinner

DANIEL WEBSTER

Was the sort of a man you don’t find laying round loose nowadays to any great extent.  It’s a pity his brains wasn’t preserved in a glass case, where the imbecile lunatics at Washington could take a whiff occasionally.  It would do ’em good.

We are told that as a boy Daniel was stupid, but this has been said of so many great men that it’s getting stale.  Some talented men were undoubtedly stupid boys, but it doesn’t follow that every idiotic youth will make an eminent statesman.  But there are plenty of vacancies in the statesman business.  A great many men go into it, but they fail for want of capital.  If they would only stick to their legitimate business of clam-digging, or something of that sort, we should appreciate them, and their obituary notice would be a thing to love, because ’twould be short.