Be still until you find yourself—your wise, loving, joy-giving Self which dwells in the silence and is able to do whatsoever you desire.
“That article of yours, ‘So Near and Yet So Far,’ has worried me to an extent I am ashamed of. To my ‘judgment’ that article is disingenuous. It is not so much that you jumped on that poor soul with hob-nailed shoes, but that you formulated the ‘jump’ quite as the husband might have done. That is, if she would repent and change her course, she would soon find that he was all right, and—inferentially—all the trouble was of her making. Not one word on the other side! You even quote your own experience against her. My dear, did you really find that your ‘trouble’ was of your own making, and did you really change ANYTHING except your own amount of distress during the process of disintegration? Marriage is the only contract which society does not promptly admit to be broken when either party refuses to fulfill his obligations—as agreed to. And in view of the custom of ages, and the instinct in woman formed by such custom (when instinct makes the establishing of Individuality the very hardest thing in life for a generous woman), I think that your implication against the woman, trying with all the light she’s got to keep her side of that very one-sided contract is simply—cruel! I wish I could get at that girl and tell her that her only chance for happiness is through the paradox ’Whoso will not lose his life cannot find it.’ Whoso will not ‘let go’ of the love which his five per cent judgment claims as his only righteous chance, cannot inherit that which the ninety-five per cent would attract if the five per cent were ‘offered up’ to the spirit. This is the first time I have ever disagreed with your point of view.” Jane.
That article, “So Near and Yet So Far,” has brought forth volumes of comment, most of it highly favorable, and nearly all of it from women themselves. But among the writers were three critics, and among the critics one of the brightest women I know, whose letter appears above.
And she says that article is to her disingenuous. Of course it is, for she has not yet arrived at the point of giving up her own way. She is still a Pharisee of the Pharisees—on the surface. She is proud; she knows she has done her best to bring things right—according to her judgment of right; and she does hate to acknowledge her foolishness! She will “hold fast her own integrity” as long as there is a shred of it left! Don’t I know? Didn’t I do exactly the same thing? Of course. But the pressure of the great spirit of love, wisdom, justice, was too much for me; I had to give up my judgment; I had to acknowledge that there must be the same spirit expressing in my husband’s judgment; I had to let go, be still and get at his point of view. Jane, too, will have to do it. And the fact that that article “worried her to an extent she is ashamed of,” is the proof. When Truth presses her point we worry until we can hold out no longer; then we give in.