or, An Alderman’s Bargain.
Spoken by Mr. Jevon.
Since with old Plays you have so long been cloy’d,
As with a Mistress many years enjoy’d,
How briskly dear Variety you pursue;
Nay, though for worse ye change, ye will have New.
Widows take heed some of you in fresh Youth
Have been the unpitied Martyrs of this Youth.
When for a drunken Sot, that had kind hours,
And taking their own freedoms, left you yours;
’Twas your delib’rate choice your days to pass
With a damn’d, sober, self-admiring Ass,
Who thinks good usage for the Sex unfit,
And slights ye out of Sparkishness and Wit.
But you can fit him—Let a worse Fool come,
If he neglect, to officiate in his room.
Vain amorous Coxcombs every where are found,
Fops for all uses, but the Stage abound.
Though you shou’d change them oftener than your Fashions,
There still wou’d be enough for your Occasions:
But ours are not so easily supplied,
All that cou’d e’er quit cost, we have already tried.
Nay, dear sometimes have bought the Frippery stuff. |
This, Widows, you--I mean the old and tough-- |
Will never think, be they but Fool enough. |
Such will with any kind of Puppies play; | But we must better know for what we pay: | We must not purchase such dull Fools as they. | Shou’d we shew each her own partic’lar Dear, What they admire at home, they wou’d loath here. Thus, though the Mall, the Ring, the Pit is full, And every Coffee-House still swarms with Fool; Though still by Fools all other Callings live, Nay our own Women by fresh Cullies thrive, Though your Intrigues which no Lampoon can cure, Promise a long Succession to ensure; And all your Matches plenty do presage: Dire is the Dearth and Famine on the Stage. Our Store’s quite wasted, and our Credit’s small, Not a Fool left to bless our selves withal. We re forc’t at last to rob, (which is great pity, Though ’tis a never-failing Bank) the City.
We show you one to day intirely new,
And of all Jests, none relish like the true.
Let that the value of our Play inhance,
Then it may prove indeed the_ Lucky Chance.
Sir Feeble Fainwou’d, an old Alderman
to be married Mr. Leigh.
Sir Cautious Fulbank, an old Banker married to Julia, Mr. Nokes.
Mr. Gayman, a Spark of the Town, Lover of Julia, Mr. Betterton.
Mr. Bellmour. contracted to Leticia. disguis’d, and
passes for Sir Feeble’s Nephew, Mr. Kynaston.
Mr. Bearjest, Nephew to Sir Cautious,