Double parked on the streets of New York, George Costanza, a neurotic, short, balding man, looks on incredulously as his current girlfriend, Allison, screams, "I don't want to live. I don't want to live!" "Because of me"," he skeptically asks. "You must be joking. Who wouldn't want to live because of me? I'm nothing." "No, you're something," Allison assures him. "You can do better than me," continues George. "You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me. I'm no good." "You're good. You're good," Allison says passionately. "I'm bad. I'm bad," counters George, shaking his head. "You're killing me!" screams Allison violently.

The scene shifts to the local coffee shop. George is sitting in one of the fake leather booths with Elaine Benes, a sarcastic beauty who's in publishing. Jerry Seinfeld, a stand-up comic whose jeans and white tennis shoes are always immaculately...